The Nardio Review

Ernie vs Evil main

Is Ernie Vs Evil worth your time?

Not at all.

 

What should I play Ernie Vs Evil on?

Avoid this. Trust me.

How it Plays and Why it Fails:

Ernie vs Evil gameplayErnie vs Evil feels like the dev took a broken early alpha build of a game and slapped it on the appstore with a premium price tag.

Ernie Vs Evil is a side view defense game that has the player in charge of tapping the screen in one of three lanes trying to stop zombies from killing the player character.  I normally really enjoy these sorts of games. Sadly there seems to be no story here whatsoever. Unfortunately, Ernie Vs Evil feels like the developer’s just said screw it and threw the alpha build of the game on the appstore and called it a day.

The interface is so ugly and poorly designed it angers me.

The interface is so ugly and poorly designed it angers me.

The interface is frustrating and inexcusably horrible in this day and age. Trying to figure out where to go is frustrating. The in game store/progression system is just horrible.  It tells you nothing about the items you can buy, why most of it is locked off, or what the items do. There is also no buy conformation so a miss tap will end up costing you valuable currency. This is especially bad because the store is where the players progression comes from. Here is where you can upgrade your weapons, health and barrier. Unfortunately it’s done so poorly that I am sure most players will just end up deleting the game before they figure out how things work.  Also the cost of upgrades is to damn high.

Because fuck you thats why.

Because fuck you thats why.

This leads to the next maddening problem of Ernie Vs Evil: Horrible difficulty progression. The game just gets too damn hard to fast. I’m not talking hardcore ultimate test of player skill hard, I’m talking cheap, frustrating and poorly designed. Leading you to have to go back to the first level to grind and power up for the second. Rinse and repeat for the third level. Right now I am stuck on 1-3 and I really don’t have much of a reason to go back and beat it all. This just isn’t fun.

Ernie Vs Evil is Punishing, boring and repetitive. Randomly while grinding out for 1-2 I just happened to pick up a shotgun. That is a permanent player weapon that was not in the store, but was just flung at me mid grind.  That isn’t fun. That is not progression.  I didn’t earn this. Only then, was I allowed to power up my bullet damage. Then I was able to progress to 1-3.

Woot (<–sarcasm)

Was this even play tested?

Like at all?

Get used to this screen. At least until you delete this.

Get used to this screen. At least until you delete this.

Enemies in the levels seem to be randomized so there goes any way to plan for the waves at all. Just spam the hand gun, try to use the shotgun, die cheaply and repeat. Your weapons have a charge element to them (I think. It was never explained) that seems to let them get stronger if you don’t use them for a few seconds.  This might be interesting if you weren’t just besieged by seemingly endless waves. To make matters worse the same enemies you face in level one just seem to get stronger over time. A different skin would have been nice to show you that you are dealing with stronger enemies, but instead we just have to swallow what used to take three shots here now takes six here and way more here…Ugh.

I guess over time you are supposed to grind this unfun game enough to power up some more and then hope the gods of randomized cheap enemy placement and waves smiles down upon you instead of pooping out endless waves of disrespect from the developer and allow you to proceed.

No.

Seriously Goodnight Games what the heck were you thinking here? This is a mess. Worse, you charged me $1.99 for this mess. This is not a final game. This is a broken, untested, unpolished, and seemingly un-cared about alpha build that is career suicide for your company. Worse still it’s just an ugly game. Even the art assets used here show how little you cared about this.  Yet you had the nerve to charge $1.99 for this? Really?

Shame on you.

Avoid this…

 

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Basic Info:

  • $1.99 iOS <– Seriously I paid that much for this. Rip Off.
  • Universal app

 

Web Links:

  • I’m not promoting this mess.

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Bernardo Español

Editor-in-chief
Hi I'm Bernardo Español. I'm a guy with way too much energy and not enough free time.

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