The Nardio Review
Is War Tortoise worth your time?
Ehh.. Not really.
What should I play War Tortoise on?
I would say iPad only. A lot of tiny enemies appear on screen at a distance. You need to see and kill them FAST.
What Did We Think Without Spoiling It?
This is a let down.
How it Plays and Why it Fails:
I’m kinda into War Tortoise, but I’m mostly over it. I really gave this a good long try, mostly for the review and partly because I really wanted to love this game. I’m up to my 17th generation of the game. This means that I reset 17 times already. I just want you to know this isn’t some quick throwaway review, but something I put my time into and watched way too many ads for.
War Tortoise is a mix between an endless tapper, a tower defense game and an aggressive ad watching platform. In the beginning it sort of works, but then the cracks start to show. I realized it really only got the ad platform right.
War Tortoise has you building up an armored tortoise’s forces, power and defenses. You are at war with other animals intent upon murdering you with inexplicably tiny yet cute armored forces. I gotta say the art is pretty darn snazzy for all of this.
You can play War Tortoise yourself by manually aiming your main weapon. You can later buy and swap out more powerful weapons for specific situations.
You can also set War Tortoise on Auto-Battle mode. Auto-Battle mode aims your machine gun at the enemies so you don’t have to. The accuracy is reduced and it doesn’t swap out to the sniper rifle when you are getting destroyed by out of range targets.
This leads to the game breaker. You will die because tiny units from far far away will just nuke you into oblivion before you realize it. This often happens when you are busy defending against a giant swarm of enemies so you don’t even have a chance to find out what killed you. Sometimes it will be large tank like units, but really 99% of the time it will be a speck on the far back of your screen. This sort of death isn’t fun. It just feels cheap. This especially sucks when you have been actively playing, armoring up and allotting your upgrades to take out the giant tanks and the sniping enemies.
The next issue I have with War Tortoise is how hard it is to make money. The very best way it seems to me to “play” War Tortoise is to take lots of breaks and come back and watch an ad to double your money made while not playing. This is basically a necessity since unit and upgrade prices are insanely high.
Of course in War Tortoise you are able to prestige to get bonus damage and perks later on, but they honestly don’t feel worth it. Sure you very, very, very slowly get more powerful, but you still find yourself dying one cheap death after another. Your many unit upgrades and purchases don’t stay with you. War Tortoise offers you perks every few hours in exchange for watching more video ads, but they are randomized and for the most part suck. You can also unlock medals, which you can trade in for randomized perks, but unlocking these requires progressing to higher levels. Unfortunately, you really aren’t getting these fast enough to keep you interested. Of course you can also buy these medals for real money, but since you can’t put the randomized perks anywhere useful or start off with some support units unlocked, it seems kinda like a waste of money aimed at IAP whales instead of every day gamers.
War Tortoise has a ton of potential, but it feels half assed and too dependent on ad watching. Not enough thought was given to player progression. I wish there was an ability to just stay on a level and farm it instead of constantly progressing to your inevitable cheap death. I really wish the AI was able to use the stronger user weapons as well. There is no point to Auto-Battle mode if you constantly die to sniper fire.
The next fail with War Tortoise is its stupid and punishing continue system. The more you die the longer you have to wait to continue – up to 30 minutes! This is just a punishing design choice meant to force players to spend real money for medals to speed this up. Going to the next generation is also gated by high level requirements. Of course when you do go to the next generation you get a slight damage and starting money boosts. But you almost never get more armor. Considering you will more often than not die to cheap damage armor is what players really need.
War Tortoise is fun and engaging in the beginning. Discovering new support units and weapons is great, but there isn’t really time to upgrade and enjoy them thanks to the insanely high cost and very limited, punishing and repetitive gameplay. War Tortoise needs a lot of patching to make things fun. But really I think it’s up to some other developer now to take this idea and make it better. Forsaken Media has came up with a good idea with War Tortoise, but they obviously have put more thought and care into the monetization than gameplay. I very much doubt they can be trusted to make it more fun. War Tortoise is free, but I feel like it’s asking too much of me with the constant barrage of ads I am subjected to while playing this game.
Don’t get this.
I’m not promoting this.
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